This holiday season has brought us the contagious spirit of happiness, love, and togetherness as a family. It is crucial for us to spend time together not only with our immediate family but also with friends. Nevertheless, this time of the year can be challenging in terms of managing time with others and with each other as a couple.
As this season comes to an end, how did you manage to find the balance? How did you decide to navigate through the Christmas plans? Amidst all the traditions, did you enjoy quality time together as a couple? Did you identify any challenge? Or, if you live abroad, and spending Christmas with your family involves extensive travel, how did you handle the distance and still create meaningful connections?
Navigating different work patterns
For many years, one of us couldn’t spend the Christmas season with family. Whether it was due to finishing work very late in the evening past supper time; having to choose between being off during Christmas or New Year; or simply because taking a plane to another country for only two days was not the most financially viable option for our wallets.
Shift work might disrupt the holiday clock, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Christmas on your own terms and enjoy time together as a couple.
Shift swap: navigating the time trade
Have you considered swapping your work schedule? Plan strategic shifts where both of you can enjoy each other’s presence. You might have a colleague who does not celebrate Christmas the way you do or does not have the opportunity to travel away this year.
Picture this: you swap your evening for their morning or even a day shift for a night shift (whichever suits you best), creating a pocket of time together during the Christmas season. You might not be off the entire Christmas day, but you can at least enjoy a delicious meal together.
Festive flexibility: celebrating Christmas on your own terms
Shift work might mess with the holiday clock, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Christmas on your own terms. Embrace festive flexibility. It’s not just about the perfect Christmas morning; it’s about creating your own version of holiday magic.
Imagine this: celebrating Christmas on a different date with your unique traditions that fit the shift work schedule. It’s not about when you celebrate; it’s about how you infuse the festive spirit into every shared moment.
For many years, one of us couldn’t spend Christmas with their family due to shift work. We implemented exactly what we suggest above. Instead of celebrating on Christmas day, we postponed it to the early week of January. Just like that, we created another special date together 🙂
Check out other tips while being in a relationship with a shift worker.
Navigating Christmas abroad
So, you’re celebrating Christmas away from home? Fear not, living abroad doesn’t mean celebrating alone. Let’s dive into some of our personal strategies that we have used in the past.
Create a cozy Christmas corner
Celebrating Christmas together when living abroad is an opportunity to infuse your festivities with a unique and international charm. How about bringing memories from your home town to your new home?
Decorate your walls, create your personalised decorations, blending the familiar twinkle lights with a touch of your new cultural surroundings. Cook that auntie’s recipe, watch that movie you normally watch with your family during this season, or even play some games that remind you of your loved ones. It’s a beautiful way to spend time together as a couple and is also a warm way of feeling at home while you’re apart from yours and your partner’s family.
Celebrate virtually
We are so blessed to live in this technology era! We totally understand how hard it is when physical hugs are out of reach, but have you ever tried to do a video call with your family?
Schedule a Christmas call, share stories, and even synchronise opening gifts to recreate the joy of being together. Or have a virtual Christmas dinner where you and your loved ones enjoy the same meal. It’s about the shared moments that bridge the physical gap.
Celebrating with friends
When you and your family don’t live in the same country, or even continent, friends can play such an important role. There are friends who become like family. Embrace the magic of your chosen family and recreate your Christmas.
Picture this: a dinner where you’re indulging in a mix of international dishes, sharing stories about holiday traditions from around the world. It must be said that this is a very meaningful way to spend time together during this special season.
Navigating the holiday harmony between families
At the beginning of our relationship, spending Christmas was never an issue. We used to celebrate Christmas with our respective families, and after the 25th, we would have a small celebration together. Later on, we felt the need to spend time not only with our own families but also with each other’s. We totally understand if finding this balance is a challenge. We invite you to explore some of our recommendations 🙂
Allow specific days for each family
How about celebrating Christmas Eve with your partner’s family and Christmas day with yours? Designate specific days for each family. It’s a win-win solution that ensures everyone gets their dose of Christmas joy. It’s not just about the days; it’s about creating moments that are special for each family.
Imagine this: a dinner with your partner’s family on Christmas Eve, followed by a game night. On Christmas day, have a long talk with your family during lunchtime, followed by a cozy movie time.
Consider switching off each year
What about families who do not live near each other?
Picture this: one year filled with your family’s traditions, the next with your partner’s, creating a collection of holiday stories for the generations to come. It’s not just about alternating years; it’s about turning each into a memorable and unique gathering with each family.
Host everyone at your home
If you are really struggling to figure out how to decide whose family to visit for the holidays, why not turn your home into the holiday haven for both your family and your partner’s?
When hosting both families, you are blending the best of both worlds, merging both family traditions. You and your partner can prepare everything together, or you can cook with some members of your family (I know it can be extremely chaotic in the kitchen! Upsy daisy). Having both families in the kitchen might not be the best approach, so you can suggest that some family members bring traditional dishes, Christmas desserts, and drinks, while others can be responsible for the entertainment, for example.
Communication is the key
I cannot emphasise communication enough. In a perfect world, you’d be able to see everyone on every holiday, however, that’s not always possible. Honest and open dialogue lays the foundation for an agreement on how to celebrate the holidays. Let’s verbalise with your partner the plans you have in mind and how you would like to spend time together, not only with each other but also with your families. Express your feelings, and also allow your partner to listen, retain the information, and express their feelings as well.
Once you both decide, inform both families as soon as possible to allow them to process any feelings they might have if you are not spending time together with them this year, or for everyone to be able to organise themselves.
Last but not least, amidst the holiday hectic schedules, expressing love to your partner often takes a back seat. Keep this in mind and do NOT forget to spend quality time with your partner. Remember to block time together: it can be a day out in your hometown or a day at a spa 🙂
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